Hauling Ass

LOL

Pretty much sums up my day!

The Art Of Doing Nothing Productive

Actually, the name of this post should read "The Art Of Doing Nothing Productive While Seeming To Be Productive Especially When There Are A Bunch of Actual Productive Things You Could Be Doing But Don't Want To Do So You Found This Other Seemingly Productive Activity To Occupy Your Time."

Here's how it works (for me, anyway):

I usually start off with an ambitious plan to get a bunch of things accomplished. Today, for example, the plan was as follows:

1. Go to the grocery store, and buy groceries - since I have no food in the house.
2. Pay my 2010 property taxes and maybe even the 2011 tax bill too. Or is it the 2009 and 2010 tax bills... I can't remember... 2 years overdue? 3 years?
3. Call Sprint and cancel my phone service - which I have just 1 day to do before I get charged for another month.
4. Text or call everyone who needs to know my new phone number.
5. Clean the litter boxes - ok that one needs to wait until after the visit to the store - if it ever happens.
6. Do something with the 2 year old christmas tree I still haven't done anything with (and no it's not a fake christmas tree - it is, howver quite dead) .
7. Work on Gypsy Magic, Cafe Press, Mandala Madness... or some other website or blog I'm way behind on. 
8. Do the dishes and fix a nice meal with all those good groceries I theoretically just got.

So, here's what I did. I got up this morning, drank a couple of cups of coffee and then decided that it was absolutely imperative that I check my email. Now, my inbox usually has an average of 1,300 unread messages - sometimes more, sometimes less... but that's usually what it looks like. And what I do, on a normal day, is skim through it, looking for anything that seems important, interesting, or terrifying... and after I read those emails - which I might or might not reply to or do anything about - I'm totally done. And then it's on to facebook for more procrastination and bullshit.

Today, however, I told myself this story about how it would be proactive - and organized - and productive - to methodically go through all of it - discarding, sorting, answering, and freaking out (whichever was appropriate) . Three hours later... I am down to 764 unread emails and thinking of ways to avoid going to the store and doing all that other shit because now I "don't have time." Especially since it's almost noon and I have someplace I need to be at... let me see... 7:30 pm.

And now I'm having all this anxiety because I'm feeling like I'm up against the wall of "what I don't want to do that I have to do" and the more I have to do it, the less I want to... and I'm thinking that maybe my totem animal is a MULE! A stringy old balky one at that... maybe even one that bites!

So, here I am talking about pretty much nothing - as if it's actually something - when really it's just more "Doing Nothing Productive While Seeming To Be Productive Especially When There Are A Bunch of Actual Productive Things You Could Be Doing But Don't Want To Do So You Found This Other Seeminly Productive Activity To Occupy Your Time."

And of course, now, it's imperative that I do an exhaustive internet search for pictures of mules to illustrate this blog post because... well... that's just so important!

Finding Gollum

OMG! I must be a really successful ranger! I just found Gollum - and I didn't almost die, nor did I have to go hungry, or kill Orcs, or hang out in an ale house. Turns out he's alive and well, and right here, right now! Don't believe me? Here's a picture:

And... if it works... an audio clip too!

Why Does It Cry

The Hunt For Gollum

Check this out! I just found a movie about Rangers. It's an award winning unofficial prequel to The Lord Of The Rings dramatising Aragorn and Gandalf's long search for Gollum directed by British filmmaker Chris Bouchard. Based faithfully on the appendices of the books this is a non-profit, serious homage to the writing of J.R.R Tolkien and the films of Peter Jackson. I watched the trailer - and it wasn't terrible.

So I went on a search and found the official Hunt For Gollum website, and discovered that I could not only WATCH it on YouTube, I could embed it here so you can see it too! How cool is that?. I figure that I need all the help I can get in finding and releasing my inner Ranger - so hey, I'm watching it now! How cool is that?

Ok... I watched it.

Not bad for an indie film with a really small budget and volunteer actors. I think my favorite thing about the movie was this comment I found on YouTube -

"So, when Gandalf told Frodo 'I looked everywhere for the creature Gollum' what he really meant was 'I sent another guy to look for him and he almost died'."

Finding My Inner Ranger

Well, day one of finding my inner Ranger has gone pretty well, I think. I have an idea that this could possibly be the one year when I actually succeed in my quest to "be" who I want to be. But I dunno... it's just the first day. I'm posting a clip from Lord of the Rings to give me some inspiration and some umph... especially when I just want to sit around and eat cookies... here it is:

I think it's really interesting how I've decided NOT to be Aragorn AGAIN since I've finally come to the conclusion that I will never succeed with that idea... and yet here I am thinking I can be who? a ranger? is that what I'm calling him now? a ranger? and in my head, am I really thinking Strider? and when I think Strider am I really seeing Aragorn? and what video am I playing? who is that cool guy? and why do I always want to be the guy and not the girl in the movie?? So we'll see what happens...

I did think it would be a good idea to come up with a "how to be a ranger" list - and here is my first draft:

1. Get up in the morning and take hold of the day.
2. If something needs doing - do it. Don't sit around wishing someone else would do it for you.
3. When the going gets tough, the tough get going - that does not mean they go to bed... nor does it mean they go to the couch and watch tv.
4. I can take out my own trash.
5. I can clean up my own messes.
6. It's not going to kill me to be hungry.
7. If someone you love dies - be sad, bury them, and then kill something - preferably an Orc or something meaner and more dangerous. The point is - channel your grief into action - the bloodier the better.
8. Spend most of your time listening and paying attention to what's going on around you.

I also think I'm going to have to focus on physical fitness - I wouldn't have lasted 20 minutes on that trek out of Bree... plus I'm looking at working out a new wardrobe... something to fit my new persona. That will be the fun part - taking on the role - how will it look to be the Ranger Twofeathers - lurking in the shadows... no pipe - but for sure the candle, the cloak, and the ale. Lots of black - and hopefully leather too... how fun!