Integration?

So, I'm having this somewhat disasterous day where my car is irretrievably broken, I'm buying an elderly van from my ex-husband that might or might not be in good working order, my lawnmower broke, I have a disconnect notice from the electric company, a broken hot water heater, overdue water bill, way too much to do in one day but hey, I'm at a friend's house so that I can go get my not new but new to me vehicle, and tomorrow I have a class that I hope I will be prepared for and I don't see how that can possibly happen. I'm borrowing money from my mother - thank God I can do that - but I really hate it... and yes I have really good friends or I don't know what I'd be doing right now that didn't involve tearing out my hair and screaming.

Well... I thought, I'll ask the Osho Zen Tarot about my day and see if I can get an idea of what the heck is going on. And this is what I got. I can't make heads or tails out of it. Anyone have any great insights?

Integration:

The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else. The politics is within you; it is between the two parts of the mind. A very small bridge exists. If that bridge is broken through some accident, through some physiological defect or something else, the person becomes split, the person becomes two persons and the phenomenon of schizophrenia or split personality happens.

If the bridge is broken - and the bridge is very fragile - then you become two, you behave like two persons. In the morning you are very loving, very beautiful; in the evening you are very angry, absolutely different. You don't remember your morning...how can you remember? Another mind was functioning - and the person becomes two persons. If this bridge is strengthened so much that the two minds disappear as two and become one, then integration, then crystallization, arises.

What George Gurdjieff used to call the crystallization of being is nothing but these two minds becoming one, the meeting of the male and the female within, the meeting of yin and yang, the meeting of the left and right, the meeting of logic and illogic, the meeting of Plato and Aristotle.

Commentary:
The image of integration is the unio mystica, the fusion of opposites. This is a time of communication between the previously experienced dualities of life. Rather than night opposing day, dark suppressing light, they work together to create a unified whole, turning endlessly one into the other, each containing in its deepest core the seed of the opposite.

The eagle and the swan are both beings of flight and majesty. The eagle is the embodiment of power and aloneness. The swan is the embodiment of space and purity, gently floating and diving, upon and within the element of the emotions, entirely content and complete within her perfection and beauty.

We are the union of eagle and swan: male and female, fire and water, life and death. The card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life, and mystical